Frederick II, a 13^th century emperor of Germany, wanted to find out what language children would grow up speaking if left entirely on their own. The infants of his experiment were placed in the care of foster mothers and nurses who were to have minimal contact with them. All the caretakers were given strict orders not to cuddle or rock the babies nor speak or sing.  The answers Frederick learned from his experience were not the ones he expected... all the babies died.  As a medieval historian interpreted the experiment, "...they could not live without the petting and joyful faces and loving words of their foster mothers."

Anthropologist Ashley Montague cites this story in his book, Touching, which is about our human need for both physical and emotional contact. Social and psychological experts since then have reaffirmed that abandoned children cannot survive and that neglected children don't grow.  Love and intimacy are as essential for health and survival as food and water.  Other research suggests that many adolescents who are sexually active are merely longing to be held. Their need is for intimacy, not intercourse.  Touch itself tells a powerful story that shapes who we become as we grow up.  Many children have been touched inappropriately - molested, not hugged; fondled, not cuddled; abused, not loved.  Such physical contact is experienced as so violent and destructive that these children struggle in later life to be able to feel the delight and confidence of closeness without therapeutic intervention.

Touch is really a matter of intimacy, which comes from the Latin word, intimus-meaning innermost, deepest, close friend. Intimacy is deep genuine affection and a by-product of respect and trust.  Intimacy is about belonging.  Intimacy is the grammar of the language of love.  In this sense it's beyond doubt that Jesus was intimate with his disciples and friends.  He knew the innermost needs of people.  And if we were to examine the gospel stories through the lenses of touch we'll find that Jesus reached out to others again and again, touching and allowing himself to be touched.  Jesus held children, who were considered insignificant.  He spoke and ate with Samaritans-the outcasts of Jewish society.  His friendship and touch-circles included gentiles, tax collectors and even lepers who were required to wear a bell around their necks, announcing their drawing near so people could get away, out of reach.

 In Jesus' life, touch could also be controversial, as when Jesus opened himself up to the touch of a menstruating woman, who managed to touch him in spite of the crush of crowds and the cultural codes relegating what was clean and unclean.  Gospel stories tell of a woman at Bethany, who as well as Mary --touched Jesus, anointing him with oils.  The one referred to in the Gospels simply as "the disciple that Jesus loved" is frequently portrayed as leaning into Jesus, body language portraying abiding affection and trust.