A transcript of the sermon delivered by The Rev. John F. Dwyer, Assistant Rector at St. Thomas' Episcopal Church:

The noted children's author and religious writer Madeleine L'Engle wrote a story about the baptism of Jesus where she imagines Mary recounting what she thought and felt after watching Jesus and his baptism. And Mary says:

There is brilliance to the simple nature of L'Engle's imagining Mary's reaction. Her imaginary retelling strikes at the very core of our beliefs, our doubts, our desires, our fears. There exists in this retelling a humanness, a frailty that encompasses all of us, in particular that basic desire to protect someone we love from hurt, from danger, from the cost: to pretend that something is not real, allowing for the existence of the pretense that the reality of the situation need not be faced.

That is one of the things about Baptism and the reciting of our Baptismal Covenant, if we really mean those things we are about to say, the pretense disappears and reality takes the place allowing us to actually be Christ's Body in the world. This baptism of Jesus and God's sending of the Holy Spirit does not allow Mary to pretend anymore, nor allow her to protect him from the truth: with God's voice in his head and the Holy Spirit's infusion of his body, Jesus now knows. Jesus has his own Epiphany moment today.

The word epiphany derives from a Greek word that means manifestation. God being made manifest to us in human form......This is why we have the Baptism of Jesus as today's Gospel selection. Not only is the fact of Christ's divinity made clear to us today, it is made clear to Jesus. Any doubts we have, any doubts Jesus had, are driven away by that voice, by the physical manifestation of the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove, descending upon him.

We have a Gospel reading every year on this first Sunday following Epiphany that provides to us an account of Jesus' baptism, this manifestation of God. All of us need this yearly reminder because it is in our human nature to be like Madeleine L'Engle's Mary, and allow our fears to be assuaged by our doubts as opposed to allowing our doubts grow into our faith. Doubt can be like that: do we let doubt assuage our fear or do we face our doubts, face those realities, accept as truth those things we are about to say in our baptismal covenant. So many times in life we find it easier to allow the doubts to feed our fear and ignore the truth: that is part of our human nature. We can tolerate a known fallacy if that obvious falsehood lessons our fear.

When I was a sophomore in high school, a classmate of mine became pregnant, the father being a senior getting ready to go off to college. (Not an uncommon story.) As these incidents so often play out, the young couple separated, ignoring each other as they passed in the school hallways. What makes this story a bit unusual is that Ann (not her real name) chose to tell everyone that, no, she wasn't pregnant, she had a health condition that was causing her to retain water....all around her midsection. True, to some extent, but not the whole truth. And the community at large, students, faculty, staff, parents, all (publically) accepted and repeated that story. Ann made a brave showing, proudly being at school every day, trying to live her life as if what was happening to her wasn't. Nine months later, her water retention health problem was cured and she started to return to her pre-condition size and shape.

I have often wondered if Ann's decision, and the community's acquiescence to the story she told, was the healthiest for everyone involved. This was in the mid-1970s, a different time than we live in now and hindsight is 20/20. Ann gave the baby up for adoption, and I am sure she paid a very personal and wrenching price for that decision, as correct as it was for her situation. I know there were other consequences to her life that were very public: ostracism from people she thought were her friends, she and her family being constantly whispered about by those who believed themselves superior to such indiscretions. All of these are, in a way, a by-product of ignoring truth head-on. Letting fear foment doubt allowing it to win out is a path toward not living into our Baptismal Covenant.

Ann did make the right decision in regard to adoption of her child, and there was a cost to her personally. I am not being critical of her and her family's decision. I am trying for a more nuanced point in the telling of this story. I think Ann's story highlights how a community can accept a fallacy based on fear as opposed to trusting in doubt to lead to a faithful resolution. The community Ann and I grew up in would rather live with the fallacy of water-retention than face a 15 year old's unwanted pregnancy. In that upper-middle-class suburban community "These kind of problems just don't happen to our kids!"

Not letting fear rule our life is one of the reasons we are given this yearly recounting of the baptism of Jesus to contemplate. Madeleine L'Engle's Mary lost her fantasy-land for Jesus today because today is the start of Jesus' ministry, a ministry that had a cost that Mary could not protect him from.

If we were to have a baptism today, the baptismal font would be present with an urn filled with water. There is a prayer that is said over that water that helps elucidate this idea of doubt and faith, and fear and cost. Please open your Prayer Books to page 306. We are going to look at those three paragraphs under the title "Thanksgiving over the Water." Let's say the first paragraph beginning with "We thank you" together:

We thank you, Almighty God, for the gift of water. Over it the Holy Spirit moved in the beginning of creation. Through it you led the children of Israel out of their bondage in Egypt into the land of promise. In it your Son Jesus received the baptism of John and was anointed by the Holy Spirit as the Messiah, the Christ, to lead us, through his death and resurrection, from the bondage of sin into everlasting life.

In four sentences we have the broad scope: of what we believe, of what God has done and continues to do for us, of what baptism meant to Jesus, and the cost and result involved in Jesus' ministry. Let's say that second paragraph on the bottom of page 306 beginning with "We thank you" together:

We thank you, Father, for the water of Baptism. In it we are buried with Christ in his death. By it we share in his resurrection. Through it we are reborn by the Holy Spirit. Therefore in joyful obedience to your Son, we bring into his fellowship those who come to him in faith, baptizing them in the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

In these four sentences we dig deeper into the cost of being a follower of Christ. We turn away from our fear, we do not allow our doubts to fuel our fear, but allow these doubts to enliven our faith, for it is by faith that we live this life as the Body of Christ. Look at these words that are said over the water, in this second paragraph. This water of Baptism that buries us, resurrects us, in which we are reborn, living in fellowship with those others whose faith we share. There is an eye-opening truth, a jaw-dropping moment that can infuse these words and change our lives. Fear dissipates and the doubts and questions broaden our faith. And now the last paragraph on the top of page 307:

Now sanctify this water, we pray you, by the power of your Holy Spirit, that those who here are cleansed from sin and born again may continue for ever in the risen life of Jesus Christ our Savior. To him, to you, and to the Holy Spirit, be all honor and glory, now and for ever. Amen.

We are cleansed by this water, born anew, and we pray that we have the strength, the courage, the faith to live daily into the covenant that Nancy Lee is about to lead us in. There is a cost to this baptism and to really believe this baptismal covenant. The truth is that we are called to be different than society at large pressures us to be. This can be a fearful challenge and that fear can block our actually living into these baptismal covenants we are about to renew. But we have been fortified by these waters of Baptism, given to us by God, immersed in by Jesus and the millions who have gone before us, infused by the presence of the Holy Spirit, all of which allows us the opportunity to actually renew these vows with open eyes: like Mary's when she knew she could no longer hide from the truth, or protect the one she so loved from that truth and the cost.

Yes, there can be pain. Yes, there is a cost. Our resurrected lives, our reborn selves are creating that kingdom Jesus opens for us and that is worth whatever the price the truth costs.