Today marks a turning point for me, a sort of pre-anniversary, if you will.  A month from today, if the timetable I have been living with for the last 9 months is correct, I will officially become a mom.  On top of that I will officially turn a year older.  I am hoping that I will be able to add "and wiser" to the last half of that sentence; that I will instantly be just that, "older and wiser;" that the fears and uncertainty of taking on such an "awesome" responsibility will be realized, instantly, miraculously, divinely. 

While I am waiting for this moment of inspiration, this moment of truth...dare I say it, divine intervention to strike me I am sure life will carry on.  There will be my husband, never having changed a diaper in his life, suddenly thrust into a new role; adding to his status as a husband, life-partner the role of father.  There will be me, euphoric (this is the part where daydreams usually work out better than real life) excited and in a crap load of pain.  And there will be a new person, a new life, a daughter. 

Now I am not the first woman to be confronted with this dramatic change in my own universe.  While contemplating what I was going to say and write today; indeed while waiting for the Holy Spirit to provide some hint as to what I should speak to on this Sunday evening in Lent, in the last days of a month dedicated to honoring women's mark on history I ran across this gospel reading from Luke.  This past Wednesday, according to the Episcopal Lectionary, was the Annunciation where the Angel Gabriel is sent to tell Mary she has just been made the Mother of God.  The reading, Luke 1:26-38 tells the story of the brief exchange between Gabriel and Mary when the Angel arrives at her home.     

Luke 1:26-38 - The Annunciation

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you." But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end." Mary said to the angel, "How can this be, since I am a virgin?" The angel said to her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God." Then Mary said, "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word." Then the angel departed from her.

Now when I read the first part of the passage for the first time I was struck by the fact that Gabriel does his best to assuage her fears directly - "Don't be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God."  Of course he follows it with the most nerve-racking, dare I say, "awesome," responsibility ever. 

"Your kid will be great.  He will king, his kingdom will have no end...You have nothing to worry about.  Just relax, wanh, wanh, wanh."  Really, "wanh, wanh, wanh" would be all I would hear if an angel came down and told me this. In fact, that is all I heard when I found out I was pregnant and suddenly responsible for someone/something other than myself.  And I am fairly certain that this what my husband was thinking as I recall the look on my his face when I told him; a glazed over, deer in the headlights look.  This is the kind of state of mind you fall back on as you are greeted with this type of news.  You can hear it here in Mary's response: