When I was asked to give this homily I asked for some guidance, I didn't get much - John told me, write about your spiritual journey, then I asked Jessie, who had given 2 homilies and she responded, write about your spiritual journey and St Thomas. It wasn't very helpful, at least to me, who likes having most things in life defined. With their 'advice' in mind I set about looking for inspiration, or at least a theme. Thankfully I write down phrases and fragments that resonate with me. I found a phrase which a very good friend told me. He said "it is the flaws we love".

I think this dovetails so well with what Jesus said - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

If we are commanded to love others as we love ourselves, we have to love the flaws that others have, for we are flawed beings. 

We might admire the good qualities we find in our neighbor, we might like  someone b/c of what a good person they are, but when we truly love another person, we love them for the good and the bad and I think especially the bad.  If you can discover the flaws in your neighbor and realize that you still admire and like them, then chances are you love them.

It is the flaws that we love.

God loves us for our entire being. We love him with our entire being/soul, not just with the good parts or the 'religious' parts. We love and give our entire selves to him. And God loves our entire being.

That is a concept that I struggled with for so long, the faith that God loves me even though I am flawed, more so because I am flawed, because he made me that way, and as our Creator, he loves all of his creations, no matter how flawed or sinful.

I grew up Roman Catholic and in a hispanic household, the attendant catholic guilt was reinforced by the Hispanic culture.  Guilt over not saying all of my Hail Mary's, guilt over not doing my chores perfectly and other indiscretions. The guilt lead to me thinking and internalizing that God can not possibly love a guilt ridden sinner like me. It didn't matter that the guilt and shame that I was feeling were due to the actions of other people, I didn't know that at the time, all I knew was that the God that I loved and worshipped and feared could never love me b/c of my flaws.  All of this combined made me leave the Church and even proclaim that I was an agnostic and in my bleaker moments announce my atheism.

Over time I learned to release my guilt and shame, or at least acknowledge it as part and parcel of me, and I came back to the Roman Catholic Church while I was in college. I was taken in by a relatively new order of monks called the Order of St. John. They tended to the Catholics at Bradley. They took me in and introduced the idea that God is Love and that he loves all of us. My only experience with those in holy orders was my first grade teacher, a veritable dragon who seemed so dour and brittle. When I met the brothers, they were the diametric opposite of Sister Leonard Mary and all of my preconceptions of those in consecrated life. They had an openness to them, an inner joy that was incredible to behold and one that I wished I could have. Through them I learned and accepted that God loves all of us and accepts our flaws, and the only thing we have to do is love him with our whole heart, mind and soul.  One of the things that they embodied was a sense of hospitality and welcome and the feeling that they would give the clothes off their back and the food off their plate to someone who needed it. They created a community where everyone was welcome, before and after Sunday mass, during the offices, and any time that you needed to talk.  I grew very close to the Brothers and was there most Sunday's and sang in the choir, but my disagreements with women in the church, and women's rights and sexuality caused me to distance myself from them.