Today I have been asked to share a little bit about my faith journey and the role St. Thomas has played in this journey. I would like to tell you about one special moment when I first attended a service at St. Thomas' that was special to me and showed the full acceptance of God's unconditional love. But first, let me tell you a little bit about my background to better explain the context of that special moment the first time I came to St. Thomas and shared communion with fellow believers in this community.

Our Gospel reading today mentions that John wrote about the many miracles of Christ so that we may believe "that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name." This was a standard and basic truth I accepted from a young age. I grew up in the church as a child and both of my parents are very involved in our local church back home in a sunny California suburb north of San Diego. I was exposed to some more traditional music and hymns like here at St. Thomas at our Disciples of Christ church as a young child. However, most of my spiritual formation from middle school on was in the context of a typical mainstream Evangelical church with conservative theology and a very contemporary seeker-sensitive style of worship. As my mom tells me when I was about 6 years old I prayed with her to accept Jesus into my heart-the ultimate symbol conversion for my Evangelical brothers and sisters. Although I have no recollection of this specific event, I do not doubt that from a young age I was attracted to and desired to learn more about the genuine and unconditional love God lavishes on us and that my parents exemplified in their lives and surrounded my siblings and I with from an early age. I faithfully, willingly, and yes was even excited to attend church since elementary school. By middle school I was in youth leadership program at my local church and a true evangelist bringing as many friends as I could to youth group and other church events. In high school-in the words of my Evangelical brothers and sisters- I championed the cause of Christ as President of the multi-denominational Christian Club in order to bring the light of Christ to a dark place, such as our large public high school. For college I attended a conservative Evangelical University in Los Angeles where we all received a 30-unit minor in Biblical Studies and adhered to a community covenant including abstinence from alcohol, smoking, sex before marriage, and yes even dancing on campus. And of course included in the beliefs statement was a prohibition of homosexual activities.

That is a bit of my background so that you understand my faith journey and spiritual formation. At the end of college as I began to wrestle with the idea that I may be gay. What I had learned from my conservative Evangelical upbringing caused many spiritual tensions and profound questions. The conservative methods of Biblical interpretation at my university clearly marked homosexuality as an unacceptable sin within the Christian community. I had no one with whom to talk about such a taboo subject and kept these secrets hidden in my heart and even prayed that such sinful thoughts of being attracted to men would go away.