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I have a quick confession before
I begin. I wrote this homily on a plane
on the way to a very difficult weekend memorial service thinking I wouldn't be
giving it for quite some time as I had had to cancel due to said memorial. God must have been working through me because
I was invited to be here this Sunday upon returning to DC on Monday. I apologize that it is not entirely tied to
the gospel, but I hope you'll see, as I did upon review, that it fits quite
nicely with the message of welcome, acceptance, and reward that today's reading
speaks of...
In a technologically advanced,
and ever advancing, world of checkbox descriptions on social networking sites,
EVERYONE is labeled. Some of my familiar
labels are female, teacher, bisexual, singer, dancer, baker, and passionate
sushi eating latte sipping liberal. As
much as I am able to squish myself into boxes of someone else's construction,
there is one box that overtime has left me confused and uncomfortable: "Religion?" This simple question did not always leave a
bad taste in my mouth.
I am a cradle Episcopalian. I was baptized a few days before my first
birthday on All Saint's Sunday in 1982.
A few years later my parents split up and the majority of my life changed
dramatically. But, there was always an
Episcopal church there. I went to Sunday
school, sang in children's choirs, and attended first communion classes and a
special first communion service with my first grade peers. Like many of us, I also went through my
preteen let me pretend to be asleep so mom will leave me home on Sunday morning
phase. However, by the time I was a
freshman in high school I was a loud and proud "What would Jesus do?" bracelet
wearing, youth leadership team participant who not only sang in the choir,
played in the handbell choir, and faithfully attended youth group, but I also
brought friends to church with me, several of whom were later baptized with my
mother as their god mother. In those
days I attended nationwide evangelism conferences, diocesan youth community
service and bible study events. And, I
readily announced that I was religious without a second thought. That fervor quickly disappeared as I moved
away to college.
Without a car or a decent public
transportation system in Stockton, California, I was limited in my options for
belonging to a church so I eagerly joined the campus Christian
organization. I tried to be the person I
thought I was within that group, but 6 months later when I was sitting with one
of the leaders of this group I discovered I was NOT that person. This leader told me that I too would go to
hell if I continued to accept my best friend, Michael, as he was since he was
gay. Since Michael was someone I deeply
loved who in my eyes was one of the kindest followers of Christ I'd ever had
the privilege of knowing, I was in agony.
I poured over bible passages and I cried my eyes out. That moment did not fit at all into the Christianity
I knew nor the feeling deep in my soul of what I knew to be true about God's
love. I didn't know how to make it all
fit together and so I left a piece of my religiosity behind.
I became a more common college
kid. I partied with my sorority sisters
and did silly things on Sunday mornings when I wasn't sleeping in until noon.
When I finally had a car I began attending the local Episcopal church
where I did teach Sunday school and sometimes played the flute, but I exchanged
descriptors preferring the safer sounding and feeling "spiritual" to
"religious." If I was asked, "Are you
religious?" I would grimace and explain that I had a spiritual side. This reaction grew stronger and stronger as I
grappled with my own sexuality and the mounting tension in the national church
I had known my whole life.
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